It's here

It's in California.

The ambassador debates well. But he is just an ambassador. Still, he looks terribly familiar. I wanted to hug him and buy him a beer. While he was cool and self-restrained, those yuppies were there throwing caca in his words. Fuck you Ivory tower idiots.

Letter to self, circa April 2007

Found during room cleanup:

It is astounding that at this part of the process you still find yourself thinking outside the box of that which you represent. But, what do you fear? Where do you want to go? Whose ideas will you challenge and how much are you willing to give up?

Remember everything about this process because it will never happen to you ever again in your life. You are privileged to know these things and ensure that others can understand the life of multiculturalist movements.

Find answers for others and yourself. I don't want to forget where I am coming from nor who who has been there at the worse moments. Try to love but not fall in love. Learn people's names. Make people smile. Stay humble. Dress calmly. Smell good. Read more.

In more concrete terms, remember this as a moment of concientization about the powers of privilege, the balances of power, the way in which the things you say are perceived. Challenge yourself. Be an intellectual. Be daring.

Recognize that fighting apathy is nearly impossible, and doing so might have to be as complex as the tools needed to manufacture consent.

Be fair. Let go. Grow up.

Honor your father and mother.

Change people's minds.

Live on other people's shoes.

Remember we are a people of advocacy. No flashy promises.

Fight (with a smile on).

Retraction

I do have a different role in Public Allies.

I talk a lot and I have, given previous my previous apprehension to do so, opened up a lot. A simple activity of surface-level life stories where all participants spoke for an average of 10 minutes turned into an activity of its own that included Samy's death and my other cousins deaths, my being called an 'indian' in school, mom's hospitalization, my roamings around Westwood, and my eventual spiritual departure from the United States, as well as the last-minute drawback from whatever that was. The tirade lasted 45 minutes. I suspect I will still leave after Public Allies.

On Thursday, I texted ten friends with the not-so randomly selected word "breathe". Two former roommates of utilitarian tendencies asked "Why?", two reluctant lovers asked "how did you know", and some did not respond. I still don't know who won. I think I did.

Thoughts at night

-Got a haircut today on 7th and Hill. The stylist was a Puerto Rican that taught me the difference between gel and pomade, and what type of occassions call for each one.

-My teacher for "Intro to community organizing" is a Marxist. We are going to clash soon, but I still have not decided when.

-The blog (undergroundundergrads.com) is going to pick up soon.

-I feel very creative and my thoughts outpace me a lot of the time. I don't say a lot lately.

-I am out of love. A crushing blow of rationality has left me content on my solitude, and the train is my only lover. This is what it would have been like in Lanus. Except I have Enrique, Margarita, and Sophia instead of Lucia, Adolfo, and Gisela.

-I am already the class clown in Public Allies. So much for taking on a different role.

-Steven has a son. I failed as a jr. high youth group leader 6 years ago.

-I want to be good at soccer again. Joining a saturday league.

Two weekend lists

Friday Night: List of songs I performed at Karaoke night for the Downtown Labor Center staff (for Susan's last day on the job).

1. I can't freaking remember. Some song I did not choose, but jumped up and sang.
2. Queen's - "Bohemian Rhapsody"
3. Los Del Rio - "Macarena"(duet with Liz)
4. Outkast - "Hey Ya!"
5. Nas - "I Can"
6. Usher - "Caught Up"
7. Black Eyed Peas - "My Humps" (duet with Liz)
8. The Mamas and the Papas - "California Dreamin'"

Saturday Morning: List of books I gave Facundo for his philosophical explorations in the coming school year, his second at UCSD studying computer science, arranged by date of publication.

1. Machiavelli, "The Prince"
2. Jean-Jacques Rousseau, "The Social Contract"
3. Karl Marx, "The Communist Manifesto"
4. Friedrich Nietzsche, "On The Genealogy of Morals and Ecce Homo"
5. Albert Camus, "The Rebel"
6. Noam Chomsky, "Government in the Future"
7. Paulo Freire, "Pedagogy of the Oppressed"
8. Jared Diamond, "Guns, Germs, and Steel"
9. George Lakoff, "Whose Freedom?"

Friday night

I am not good at remembering the things I said I would write about whenever I got in front of the computer. Also, I find myself as a multiple personality writer with regards to what goes on this space, and others.

Finished first week. Public allies retreat. Two busy work days. Lots of public transportation.

Currently reading... Let Them In: The Case for Open Borders by Jason L. Riley. Libertarianism, eh?

There are places I remember

Last day of summer

I am remodeling what will now be my room, and making the rest of the family adapt to my wishes. Sophia landed a TV/DVD player combo as well. The living room now hosts a computer that adds to the clutter. My new bookshelf, a craigslist purchase that looks brand-new thanks to a two-day varnish inspiration, has sections on religion and philosophy, as well as a giant stuffed ant looking over the bed and out the window.

Not much else is familiar to me right now. I am not leaving to Argentina anymore, and thus cancelled some visits, scratched some plans, and stopped logging on to couchsurfing, where those who agreed to host me will have to wait. My cancellation was short and generic, nothing like the introductory emails that feigned the right amount of pioneering excitement.

I feel like I am personally regressing, yet moving forward in life. But I have more time to do the things I want to do. Hopefully that time availability will still be matched with energy by the time routine kicks in. Exciting three days ahead at the Public Allies retreat, followed by a banquet on Thursday, one of many union events to come in the next 10 months.

Today I shed two tears while watching Inside 9/11 on NatGeoTV. I can only do that when it's impersonal.

Conversation on the RNC

Courtney: so...cindy mccain, sarah palin or michelle obama?
me: i had a dream
Courtney: as a MILF
all 3?
me: that i was dancing cumbias with michelle obama
with barack taking pictures
Courtney: haha
me: but since its barack
i couldnt do that
so, palin
she looks like a freak
this is what i would do to her:
first, she reads the bill of rights
Courtney: omg
me: then, i dress as a vietnamese prison guard
and she is a fighter pilot
Courtney: omg
me: ok?
ok, im done
haha
Courtney: ok good
me: my own thoughts were starting to disturb me
Courtney: yeh, me too.
me: i am turning more republican by the second
Courtney: lol
sometimes i feel bad for him that he can lift his arms
me: i know
but thats good cuz he gets to always underhug
which is the best way to hug
girls get away with it most of the time
Courtney: lol
do you think about this?
me: you gotta think about the things you gotta think about

Disturbing thought of the week

Question:

What impact, if any, do you think my moving back home and staying up late has on my parents' sex life? Dad is 49 and mom is 45. It's supposed to be great times for them, right, with the Viagra and whatnot?

I am launching a full investigation on this issue. Results to come at a later date.

Edit: this question was not supposed to have any type of Oedipean implications. The inquiry is based on the proximity between the rooms in our household, difference in sleeping patterns, and such considerations.